Sagtikos Manor Historical Society 677 W Montauk Hwy. Bay Shore, NY 11706

Cynthia Lee Theiss, of West Islip, but truly a Babylonian at heart after over 40 years teaching at Babylon High School, was sadly taken from us way too early. Her passing leaves a tremendous void in the social fabric of not just two communities, but in the lives of all who knew her. Mr. Rogers – a key inspiration in Cindy’s career as an early childhood educator (she famously founded a free community preschool in her high school as part of her early childhood development class, which to date has had thousands of successful graduates) – once said, when in need “look for the helpers” and that his recipe for success was three part: be kind, be kind, be kind. Cindy was all that and more. She helped whenever, wherever and whomever, from making quilts for the historical society to teaching unwed mothers how to cook nutritious meals for their new families, and always without complaint or the slightest need for recognition, and always with the most genuine of smiles on her face. Whether as friend, neighbor, colleague, volunteer, wife or mother, she gave all of herself, all of the time, and she will be sorely missed.

We met at Marshall Field, as part of the 1966 summer College Board that the big department stores had that served as advisors to young women college students providing assistance on what would be needed on campus. We were given a uniform, designed by Yves St Laurent, an emerging Paris Couture designer, which we wore every day. (I’d wager Cindy stashed that uniform at her home!) It was a time when young women were just emerging from the shadows of postwar suburbanism to attend college, empowered by the Free Speech Movement, anti-war demonstrations, and freed to explore their independent lives with the advent of the birth control pill. It was a heady time and yet an uncertain time. We met each other’s parents and stayed overnight at each other’s houses. Cindy’s dad was quite chatty, describing his Scruggs family’s connection to Billy the Kid. We went on the share our times in college classes, being in the same sewing/tailoring, cooking/nutrition and retail classes. It was a time when the fashion business, child development, nutrition, and other “female roles” were gathered under the heading “Home Economics” at all of the agricultural land grant universities across the country. We both went on to be professionals and leaders in our respective industries: child development, sewing and life skills and other education for Cindy and the fashion business for me. We followed each other’s lives: I was stunned as she told me she had eloped with her love Mike Theiss in the fall of 1967 and was now pregnant. I told her of my move to San Francisco and my divorce. I helped her move to a new place while she was giving birth to Matt. (They weren’t prepared to move their household of stuff!)

I continued to travel back to New York over the years as a buyer for Macy’s California and my own business, visiting her family and her in-laws, keeping up with all their goings-on. I remember Vik and Matt placing a bet with their friends that I was from California. I showed them all my California driver’s license. I brought them coins from my travels across the globe. Sometimes I sent postcards, too. I remember asking for Cindy and Mike’s advice about buying a house in California. Their advice: “Don’t do it!” After just reroofing their house by themselves, suggesting a single woman buy a house was overwhelming to them. I didn’t listen to them. I bought that house in Berkeley in 1977 when single women found it nearly impossible to get a home loan. I sold and bought 2 more before my husband Jim and I purchased our current home. And the birth of my son Mark was an amazing event in 1981. I brought him to Cindy’s house in 1982 when he was 8 months old, and she and her sons cared for him while I went to work in New York, commuting every day for a week. She stayed connected to Mark for the rest of her life. And she and Mike later visited us in San Francisco. Even Vik visited us with his first wife, borrowing my BMW Z3 for the weekend. He still remembers that trip. She knew and loved my now husband Jim Warshell. We both experienced Mike’s tragic death and came to New York for his service. She and her sons were symbols of strength as they all came to terms with Mike’s passing. We met many of Matt and Vik’s cousins and friends that trip. One had been a Navy Seal. He was a dear friend and cousin.

As we transitioned to different lives, children growing up, having children, grandchildren, health issues and just living our lives, we continued to share our stories together. After we bought our San Francisco Victorian home in 2003, she visited us, experiencing the leaking roof with us. Later when Jim and I got married, she and Paul made the trip to celebrate our Mel Brooks’- themed wedding. It was a blast and great to have her with us. And later, emails and phone calls to check in on each other…we never had to explain or provide background to catch up…we both just “knew”. It seemed we lived next door to each other all this time. In late March, the last time I spoke with Cindy, I sent her my granddaughter’s new dress I had made. She sent me her sewing patterns she used for her own granddaughters, or meant to…. I knew she never threw things away but kept them, just in case. And now I have the patterns to make more. Young girls today are not like we were and that’s a good thing. We both provided different examples of women in professional work settings making our way as industry leaders. We were proud of ourselves, as friends, partners, mothers, grandmothers, mentors and teachers, showing other people how to be themselves and be successful in their lives. Godspeed, Cindy. You are always with me. Gail