Calverton National Cemetery

West Islip Senior Citizens Center 90 Higbie Lane West Islip, NY 11795 or Hospicare 172 King Road East Ithaca, NY 14850

Helene Jane Carr, 95, of Bayshore, NY died peacefully of natural causes on March 17, 2021. She was born on September 29, 1925 in Mt. Pleasant, PA to John and Helena Kapelewski. We’ve enjoyed so many stories of her coal miner daughter life of picking blueberries, feed sack dresses, baths in the galvanized tub, making paper dolls out of old newspapers and paying to see movies with potatoes from the garden! And of course, all the wonderful Polish delicacies – pierogis, stuffed cabbage and nut rolls. After graduating 8th grade, she courageously left home at 14 to begin her adventurous career as a waitress. Hard work, attentiveness, generosity and a “never give up attitude” brought her success at every restaurant and lifelong friends across the country. She would wear a different costume jewelry pin on her uniform each day announcing the holiday or season. She arrived in NYC the day the soldiers returned home from World War II and was swept away with the fanfare, excitement and magic of The Big Apple. After being introduced to Louis Carr on a blind date and courted with a multitude of flowers, they married in 1949. She was welcomed into the large Karavokiris family and learned the wonders of their Greek culture, including the grandmother’s phenomenal cooking.

The hustle and bustle of the city was no place to raise a family, so Helen and Louis settled in a peaceful, friendly suburban neighborhood in Elmont, Long Island where their three children – Karen, Jayne and James - could get a good education and safely play outdoors with neighboring children. Although often struggling financially, Helen always found a way to pay for music lessons, 4-H and Cub Scouts, artist supplies and summer camps; everything and anything to encourage each passion her children exhibited. Since she worked evenings to make ends meet (the dinner shift was the most lucrative in the restaurant business), she found mentors for each of her children to enable them to thrive. Christmas was always special since Helen’s generosity involved inviting every neighbor and waitress family to share an afternoon buffet. She wouldn’t let anyone leave without a toy for each child and a huge plate of homemade cookies. One Christmas, she was so intent on making sure everyone was well cared for, she forgot to turn on the oven, only to find that when all the guests left, the family’s turkey dinner was as raw as when she put it in. Christmas trees were often Charlie Brown trees, but love, caring and laughter was all that mattered. Although deathly afraid of the water, she had no trouble setting up a 4 foot pool for the kids in the backyard and made regular trips to Jones Beach to watch her children jump in the waves and play in the sand – she really hated sand!

Her tenacity was well rewarded when after 6 tries she finally passed her driver’s test at age 45 and found adventure in her new independence. This small town gal traveled with friends and family to Ireland, England, the Bahamas, Las Vegas, Florida, Washington and of course many trips to Atlantic City with her dear sister Ann. At 70, with her children grown with families of their own and her tired body no longer interested in waitressing, she moved to be close to her son, Jim, and his wife Phyllis, who rushed over routinely to fix the heat, cut a hedge or bring her a meal. She lived in the sweetest little home in Bayshore. Not only did she befriend everyone on the block, but she was dubbed ”the Mayor” of the neighborhood – fighting for everyone’s rights, helping those in need and always sharing little gifts to cheer her friends. Her generosity was returned by Sharon and Pete who welcomed her to family celebrations and great conversation over a hot cup of coffee. Helen was never happier than when she played Bingo or cards with her friends at the West Islip Senior Center. When she could not longer drive, Dottie and Susan, made sure she never missed a game or church luncheon. Daughter Jayne kept up with Helen’s escapades with a phone call every single evening, although never during Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy. In March 2020, the Covid Pandemic made it impossible for Helen to remain at home safely. She packed her favorite belongings and spent her last year at daughter Karen’s home in Ithaca, NY. Favorite memories include watching the birds (and squirrels) at the feeders every morning, hot tea with sweet and low, watching old classic movies, celebrating every holiday including Mardi Gras, Chinese New Year and Pulaski Day, making Christmas cookies and doing puzzles beside the fireplace. And even when her health faltered - she always won at her favorite card game “Pay Me.”

Loving mother of Karen Carr and husband Daniel Sternglass of Ithaca, NY; Jayne Weeks of Sammamish, WA; James Carr and wife Phyllis Chan Carr of West Islip, NY and grandmother of Christina, Elizabeth, Russell, Andrew and Patrick. In lieu of flowers please donate in Helene Carr’s memory to the West Islip Senior Citizens Center 90 Higbie Lane West Islip, NY 11795 or Hospicare 172 E. King Road Ithaca, NY 1485